Doesn't Even Matter
by Infinity-Nevermore
Summary: Rated T for the death and angst. Eiri and Shuichi are dying. Each reflects on the impact or lack thereof he has made on the other's life. Twoshot. That's right, it's back!
1. Eiri

Summary: Rated T for death, blood and serious angst. Eiri and Shuchi are dying. Each reflects on the impact (or lack thereof) he has made on the other's life. Twoshot.

Disclaimer: I couldn't own Gravitation. If I did, K wouldn't be married.

* * *

Eiri chuckled. But only a bit. It soon turned into a hacking cough. He looked on the floor. Blood. _Again…But it makes sense this time. The one time I need the brat here, he decides to be at work. Murphy's Law sucks._

He could see his phone on his desk. If he could only reach it…Suddenly excruciating pain shot through his spine. "Don't even try it. Shindou-san will be home soon and he'll be expecting you to be here waiting for him. Now we can't disappoint him, can we?"

"Bastard," Eiri mumbled.

_What a time to die…Just when I almost finished my new book. _Eiri was unusually proud of this story because it paralleled his own life more than any other. Now he had no idea if it would be published, what the fans would say, Shuichi's reaction…He'd really like it. Eiri chuckled silently. _For once, I care._

_Isn't time supposed to slow down when you're about to die? I swear the second hand is going faster. It's 3:24. The brat's supposed to be home in…hmm, 41 minutes. I'll probably be gone by then, if he doesn't come home early. Nah, K is probably holding the entire band hostage. Oh well._

He just realized that the pain in his back was gone. Had his attacker left? After a painfully disoriented minute, it came back to him: the visitor, the small talk, and the bullet in his back. _Didn't even have the decency to do it to my face._ He looked at his watch. 3:45. _I refuse to die like this. Not today. I've got to get to the phone. _"I see you thinking, Eiri-san. I've got my eye on you." _Damn._

3:51. "I'll be leaving your company now, Eiri-san. Say hello to Kitazawa-san for me."

Eiri's hands balled into fists. _When you get there, I'll be taking over your torture myself. _He watched his assailant walk out the door, mutely cursing the person to the deepest parts of hell. He turned, and put his hand out in front of him, intending to pull himself to his desk and call 911. He soon realized that he no longer had the strength to move.

Eiri's thoughts drifted back to his exuberant young lover. _How would he take it? Even though Shuichi says how much he loves me, how much of it does he mean? Can he love such a cold-hearted man as me? If so, how? Why? I intentionally push him away time after time, and yet he comes back. He's an idiot._

_I never got over sens…Kitazawa-san. Tohma was the only one who understood, but he was slowly killing himself with guilt, so I withdrew into myself, hoping to convince him to move on. He eventually did, but I didn't. I tried, I did. Then **he** came along, and made me angry, and depressed, and sick. And I still kept him. He's been through hell with me. Perhaps this is best: that I die now so he can recover._

_Now the clock wants to slow down. _3:57. Eiri shivered. He was feeling cold because of the blood loss. He looked at the floor. _At least we don't have carpet._ His eyelids slowly drooped. He suddenly violently shook his head. _There's no way in hell I'm dying eight minutes before the brat gets here._ Unfortunately, there was little he could do.

_Will I be remembered? Probably. But as what? A cold-hearted playboy bastard. Maybe a good writer will be thrown in there somewhere. Even my siblings would say that. The brat—no, Shuichi—has no good experiences that he can talk about. Even that crappy love song. I shudder every time I hear Shining Collection, especially once I read some of my old essays. How had my English deteriorated so much?_

_In time, people will forget. In 25 years, my name will have slipped from the memories of the literary world. Once my family dies, no one will know what happened with Kitazawa-san. Or to him._

3:58. _For all intents and purposes, I had "gotten over it." I was just fooling myself. I shut myself off from everyone. But he forced his way into my heart, and now I can't get rid of him. He helped me heal._

3:58. _I'm an idiot. It took almost losing the stupid brat for me to realize how much I needed him. And now I'm finally doing what I should have done a long time ago. It's better this way. Goodbye, Shuichi. No matter how I acted, I did love you._ With that thought, Eiri finally fell asleep.

4:05. Shuichi burst into the apartment in his usual way. "Yuki, I'm…home?" Blood greeted his eyes and nose. With shaking steps, he followed the crimson liquid to find Eiri on the floor. "Yuki, NOOOOOOOO!" He fell to his knees beside the prone figure and felt for a pulse. None. He ran to the phone to call an ambulance, tears filling his eyes. As the dispatcher told him what to do, he followed the instructions dumbly, his eyes focused on his lover's mouth, which was still open, as if he were saying something before or as he fell asleep. What was it?

He wasn't surprised, just incredibly sad when the paramedics pronounced him dead at the scene. As they prepared to carry his body out, he took one limp hand, kissed it, and whispered, "Aishiteru, Yuki."

* * *

(A/N: Not quite as good as last time, but as averse to songfics. I already have two strikes on my account, and I don't want to stoke their ire anymore. I like my penname.)


	2. Shuichi

Summary: Rated T for death, blood and serious angst. Eiri and Shuchi are dying. Each reflects on the impact (or lack thereof) he has made on the other's life. Twoshot.

Disclaimer: If I owned Gravitation, Shuichi would not dress like a girl. He's the only one crazy enough to do so.

* * *

Shuichi lay on the floor, tears mixing with his blood. "But why would you do this?" he sobbed. "Shut up," a voice floated form above. A gun was pointed at his head. "Unless you want Maiko-san to find your brain splattered all over the floor." Shuichi's mouth snapped shut.

"Think of this as a mercy killing. I know you miss your precious Eiri-san. You two can argue just like you used to in the afterlife." The ice-cold laugh chilled Shuichi to the bone. "Wait a minute. Do you know who killed Yuki?" "Didn't I tell you to shut up? I'm the one doing the talking." Feet moved over to the couch and sat down. "But…well, you'll be dead anyway. Yes, I killed Eiri-san." Shuichi's eyes widened. _I've been looking for you for four years. All this time you've been right in front of my face?_

"You killed him," the blood-drenched figure whispered. "Just when we were going to start our life together, you killed him. I'll never forgive you." His hands balled into fists at his sides. "I tried for years to get him to be open and nice and forgiving and loving, and just when it started to work, you killed him. I just can't believe it was you." His voice had risen to dangerous proportions.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" The barrel was turned toward the singer and fired. However, either they had an off moment or they intentionally missed, for the bullet whizzed over his head and lodged it the wall. "And just how will your withheld forgiveness affect me when you die?" A smirk graced the pretty face watching him, reveling in his pain. "I doubt Eiri-san has forgiven me yet either." A choked sob escaped the mass of pink.

Shuichi's thoughts drifted to the past. _Yuki kept yelling at me. Yet he always let me back in. This spot is…I think this is the same spot where we first…_ A light blush stained his cheeks. _But why? Why did he keep letting me back in? Did he love me as much as I loved him?_

"Oh Shuichi, you've grown so much like Eiri-san." A soft hand ran down his cheek, gently brushing away tears that were still falling. "Don't touch me, you sick freak," he growled. "Yuki would eat you alive if he were here."

Eyes narrowed. "Well, he's not. Why do you think he's resting in his grave?" Shuichi whispered waveringly, "You don't mean…"

"Honestly, why in the world would I risk my life, my reputation and my career to off someone? To get to the prize he stood in front of. You." Shuichi's eyes widened.

Images of his life started to pass in slow motion before the young man's eyes. He could see his childhood, and his endless teasing about his hair; his adolescence, when he met Hiro and fell in love with Nittle Grasper; his adulthood, when he met the people that would become his closest friends and worst enemies, and the man that he thought he would be able to spend the rest of his life with. Finally today: a normal day, until his guest shot him in the back. _Just like Yuki… _he realized. He felt like throwing up.

_Yuki, I'll be coming to join you soon. _Shuichi had lost the feeling in his body, so now he couldn't even feel the wind blowing across his face from the now open window.

I wonder if you've changed any. Are you still as mean as you used to be? Have you put your past behind you? I wanted to help you. But you died. You were taken away from me by a person I called my friend.

_I wonder what will happen when I die. Will Bad Luck continue or disband? If they disband, what will K-san and Sakano-san do? I hope Hiro will be ok. He's smart; he'll find you and kill you for what you did. _Angry violet eyes followed the slim figure as his killer left the apartment.

I wonder if people will remember me. I just want to be remembered, if nothing else.

Shuichi wrote carefully the name of his killer in the pool of blood around his body. He started to write that this person killed Eiri as well, but his arm fell on top of his note.

Clear eyes focused on the door. Staring, unblinking, they began to fill with tears. "Forgive me, Shuichi. I loved you, but I didn't know I'd kill you both. Please, forgive me." The eyes closed and the figure disappeared into the shadows.

Inside, a pink-haired twenty-five-year-old took one final, shuddering breath and closed his eyes, a small smile on his face.

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(A/N: Thank you and I hope you enjoyed Doesn't Even Matter! Look for more stories from myself, **MistressofHeaven**. See you soon!)


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